A couple of weeks ago, I was in El Salvador, tired and missing my daughters. I picked up my phone to find our last text conversation so I could send them a quick hello. I couldn't find it. My messages were buried under an avalanche of campaign appeals asking, no, actually, they were begging, for $5, $10, or whatever I could spare. I'd already donated to the major races. My eyes teared up in frustration. I just wanted to talk to my kids, and the fundraising machine had gotten in the way.

Shortly afterward, a friend running for District Court Judge in Seattle (Vote Jan Trasen!) told me she'd finally put her foot down with her campaign manager. Her friends and family had given enough, and she didn't want to contribute to the mountains of glossy campaign mailers that mostly end up in recycling bins. At our house, it's worse. Jim doesn't even bring them inside. They sit in the mailbox until I clear them out.

So when I heard that Ulster Indivisible was organizing a No Kings early-voting festival in Midtown Kingston last weekend, I was excited. Finally, something personal instead of another text message! Jim couldn't come because he was supervising work on our roof (a story for another day), so I went alone. The music (shout-out to the Minorikeys!), food and energy were terrific. But something was missing: young people. Aside from those wonderful musicians, I hardly saw anyone under 40.

On my way home, I stopped at Camp Kingston for coffee. It was packed with people under 40, chatting and enjoying time outside their homes. Just a five-minute walk away, in the same small city, was an entirely different crowd. It struck me: If we're trying to get more people engaged in democracy, why are we focusing on people who are already engaged?

Kingston's social circles can feel remarkably separate. Sometimes I think I could predict the age, clothing and even hair color of the people I'll find at any given event. Building momentum means reaching beyond our usual circles, talking to people who don't look, think or vote like us. It probably means more conversations in coffee shops, on sidewalks and at kitchen tables.

It also means teaching people how democracy actually works. Jim, who teaches high school, sees this firsthand. We expect young people to vote, but turning 18 doesn't magically teach you how to register, find your polling place or evaluate candidates. Imagine voting for the first time, confronted with competing headlines, social media posts and campaign promises. Where do you start? It's easy to feel overwhelmed, recognize a familiar name or simply skip the election. We can't expect people to participate confidently in a process nobody has explained to them.

Campaigns know who is likely to vote and target those people accordingly. The less likely you are to participate, the less attention you receive. Meanwhile, money buys name recognition through endless repetition. But what if we flipped that equation? What if more of us spent half an hour learning about the candidates and helping someone else do the same? Instead of accepting promises to lower taxes, make us safer or protect the middle class, we could ask: Lower taxes for whom? Which services might lose funding? What have candidates actually accomplished, and what do their proposals mean for our communities?

Jim and I decided to do some homework of our own. And we got a little confused in the process. When we looked up Jim's voting location, a picture of the firehouse in East Kingston appeared and we initially thought that was where he could vote early. Turns out that's his Election Day location. For early voting, he can’t go there but can go to the Midtown Neighborhood Center at 467 Broadway, or any of Ulster County's six early-voting centers. Early voting runs Oct. 24-Nov. 1. Election Day is Nov. 3. On Election Day, he has only one option, that firehouse in East Kingston. Confusing huh? Imagine how kids feel when they try. You can find voting locations, hours, registration information and sample ballots at elections.ulstercountyny.gov. It's worth checking before you go.

So here's our challenge: Do your homework, bring a friend and hold each other accountable. Find a neighbor, a recent graduate or someone who hasn't voted in years. Check out the website, make sure you’re registered and make a date to go together. If they say they can’t find you on the voter rolls, ask for an affidavit ballot, which will be counted if you’re properly registered to vote. And if you don't have anyone to go with, comment below! Jim will post when he's heading to the Midtown Neighborhood Center in case anyone wants to join him. You don't have to agree on politics to help each other participate.

We don't pretend that more informed voters would automatically mean less campaign spending. But perhaps candidates would have to compete a little harder on their ideas and records, and a little less on repetition. Maybe democracy doesn't need another glossy postcard. Maybe it needs more of us talking to our neighbors, doing our homework and showing up for each other. And perhaps, someday, I'll be able to find a text from my daughters without scrolling past twenty campaign appeals asking me "pretty, pretty please" for just $5.